Last day of college 11 May 2017

It was a last day of college , basically we had to show our project to external examiner. All wore formals as given instructions.
When I entered in our department , I saw everyone was busy in thier work , some students was taking photos , after all it was the last working day , after that we have to come for convocation.
Finally our number called , there was four members in our team , Rahul , Tejas , Pranay and me.Rahul started introduction about project , he was explaining good but I thought it should be more described so when he took break while describing I interrupted and then started , when I stopped she asked some questions to me and my team and my other team members also explained some module of our project but we got a problem, there was some errors in our project and we didn’t​ find while testing.So when external examiner asked who was I think 40+ woman about the error then we don’t had answer.
Our project guide who guided us during project development and who approved our project one day ago was behaving like it’s all our mistake but it’s his too because he should be careful when he approved our project.
But we can’t do anything , so finally this session got over , I wasn’t happy because of this.
Anyways, after that we enjoyed there , took group selfies and then everyone started to leave.
But something more happened that day , my friend Rahul came who bought a new bike and said I will drop you to your home. I have been living in Mumbai for 5 years on rent and this was the third home we changed and currently living. But I never brought any of my college friends to my home because I was living in a slums area , it doesn’t matter what I had in past and what I have at my village or how I have lived in jaipur.Yeah that too was not luxurious life but 100 time better than this.
I just don’t wanted that anyone knows about me even rahul was my close friend in college but in everyone’s life there is something which they don’t want to share with even close friend.And that’s why I always try not to go to home of my friends.
By the way , he didn’t give me time to think and said let’s go , I couldn’t refuse him , so I just went with him.
As I said earlier my home was not far from college so when we was about to reach, I was thinking should I ask him to come home or what should I do.I was thinking but we just reached and I did not invited him even he came first time.
As I think ,there is boundary in every relation whether parents-childrens , friendships anything and we should always be in that boundary. But even if Rahul knows about me that where I stay it doesn’t bother me but I just didn’t invite him. I don’t know why.
He also didn’t ask anything about that and started bike and left.
I was seeing him going. Then I also started to walk towards my home reached there, removed my shoes, put the bag and lay down.It was a long day today and I was gonna be free.So I was thinking and when I fell in sleep, I even don’t know.I woke up when I heard mom voice to take the dinner.It was being 11pm. I took dinner then went for a walk .
After long time I came on Western Express highway at night. Everything was same there , same lights , same road but maybe speed of vehicle has become faster.I was walking on highway keeping headphone in ear , which music was playing , I did not know , car was passing right from me with more than 100 KM/hr. All vehicles was coming and going , they knew where they are coming from and they knew their destination but what a guy can do who do not understand from where he came and he has no idea about the destination.The guy who thinks life has a great meaning but he don’t understand the meaning of life.


A small trip

After long time , I was traveling in Mumbai local , luckily my junior college and degree college was near by my home so never needed Mumbai local.. According to railway , approx 4.5 million passengers travel daily in Mumbai local and it is called life line of Mumbai.But I can say it is the worst travel service in entire world. people travel like animals , you don’t need to walk in local when you stepped in or out bcz crowd will throw you in or out.
By the way my friend insisted me to go for roam , I refused as usual but later on I agreed as usual.But now I am angry on me why I agreed because there was so much crowd like the hell , I had laptop inside my bag and we was waiting for train and when train reached , crowd just ran and I just collapsed with rod between the gate of train and my laptop was about to break but somehow I made a way to go inside.Somehow this journey finished , my friends home where we was going sourrounded by mountains and was like lonesomeness , our plan was to go at his home and after little rest we was supposed to go for roam.My friend offered us a great lunch specially chiken biryani was very tasty.
Finally after lunch , around 5 pm we leaved home . That place was really lonesomeness , dangerous yeah but beautiful too.Everywhere was just mountains trees ,deep fossa.If someone fall down from mountain , no one even will know.
I was sitting on a small rock on the top of mountain , the sun was about to set , darkness was growing with time and city was looking beautiful from there .We enjoyed there , took selfies and decided to go back because after sun sets , there would be only darkness , no Street lamp or any kind of light.We came back to my friends home. Again we had a great dinner , after that we went for walk. We came back soon then I started to complete my project on my lapy and my friends was watching​ IPL match.
Till 1 am , everyone slept but there was no sleep in my eyes , I was also laying down but then I got up quietly opened the door and stepped out , and went near mountains that was not far from there , I just sat there but everywhere was just darkness and moons and stars was trying to bring light. Everything was silent there , I could even hear my heart beat.Darkness , moons light and silence made the environment mysterious.
I was thinking , is this the meaning of my life.If it is then why I am not happy , obviously my life is not purposeful life.Why I am still unaware to the purpose of my life, maybe I know but why I don’t follow.
I was thinking and thinking but at last I stood up , still there was darkness , a daunting environment. I came back , door was still opened as I did.I quitely locked it and went on the bad but sleep wasn’t there in my eyes so I started to write this on my phone notes.After completing it I will try to sleep because I have to go back tomorrow morning in my usual purposeless life.

Last Day of Exam 29th March 2017

I was just going through what I studied in past three months.10 minute was left to start the examination and this was the last exam out of four subject and all four was back to back so could not get time for preparation and for this subject my preparation was worst , By the way I am not interested in theories but practicals.Anyways there was a girl sitting right behind me and studying but I observed , whenever I turn back(Because of hot day and exam pressure , I was just walking , studying moving myself here and there) she was looking at me.But later it got cleared , she was actually staring me.But I just went in my classroom because 1 minute was left.I was feeling
bore inside the examination hall because I knew five to six answer in out of fifteen , I wrote it properly and then looking at metro which was coming and going , I was sitting in the classroom which was on 6th floar near window and there was a metro station in front of window.I was relating life with metro , means we are just here and peoples are coming and going and someday some good people comes and modifies us ,Give us good look and many more.I saw in the classroom , mostly was busy in writing , some students was looking here and there.Some had small
papers in thier pocket and they was just doing copy and paste.fortunately I never did this in my whole education life , Its totally wrong for me.But today first time I wrote few words on my palm , I just did it and I am feeling guilty , even that question did not come.That was just few words and even I decided to remove it before entering in classroom but I just forgot.After exam I was standing outside the college with my friends and discussing about exam which usually all students do and I saw that girl is coming who was staring me before exam.She was with her friends and again I observed she is looking at me and smiling too.I told about this to one of my friend who was mature guy.He told me , if you want then go and talk to her ,I said what should I talk and why should I talk , My friend said beacuse she is looking and smiling at you , so go and ask her about exam.During this talk she was smiling me with constant rate , I was little hesitating , I dont know why .Then she started to walk towards metro station with her friends and still she turned and looked at me .My friend said she is looking , so go and at least ask her mobile no.I said , I cant do this.He forcefully brought me at metro where she was going.He gave me his return ticket and said follow her I am coming and went to take ticket for me.I dont wanted to do all of this but
I was just doing , I dont know why and this was the first time when I was doing this kind of thing.When I reached at platform , she was there with her friend.I was thinking what I should I do but my friend just came with a new ticket.He asked what happened , I said nothing .He said , its a last chance for you ,If you will talk to her then something can happen otherwise she is gonna left forever.I said , I dont have any reason to talk to her , if she is looking at me so what , why should I talk.If she wants she will come to me and talk.He said , you have reason if you dont then you dont share this with me I dont know whats that reason.Suddenly train came , they got inside , I was not going but my friend just got me inside even he had to go another side.I was standing in metro and she was right from me and my friend was at left.Train was just moving fast and I was thinking what should I do then my pinched me , I saw him , he whispered in my ears about to talk .I said OK but suddenly station came he had to left this train because his home was opposite of this route , he was just coming for me.So he stepped out and said me loudly talk.
After he leaved , I wrote my number on paper and waiting for right time but I was hesitating.Next station was about to come , and I had to left and I did not know about her stop , so basically I dont had time.Train was being slow , I was just thinking and my heart was beating very fast.
I just put my mobile no with my name in the side pocket of her bag and stepped outside.
I dont wanted to do all of this but it just happened.In our life some stories just happens for maybe some raeson or no reason.I dont know will she see
my number and call me or whats app me.I know this story from metro is even not gonna start , but still I dont know why I am waiting …..this endless wait …, maybe someday I will get a call or message or maybe she will never know that a guy have put his contact number and name in her bag and maybe this endless wait will never end .